The ending of this week has been somewhat (actually quite a bit) of a challenge for me. After our awesome afternoon in the snow Wednesday - my emotional roller coaster ride began.
That evening after just finishing up our school day, I was headed back downstairs for the rest of the night, when just as I stepped off of the last stair - it happened. I still don't know exactly what it was - but something went wrong in my foot right below the ankle. I didn't think it was broken but if I tried to apply any pressure to it at all - it sent me through the roof! I was literally crawling through the house. Not so good on the knees. I couldn't even fix Isaac dinner and Chris was having another one of his later nights. Poor kid had to scramble his own eggs and make himself some toast for dinner. Thank God he's big enough to do that, but it still makes ya feel like a Loser for a mother.
Thursday, Chris brought an office chair down for me so I wouldn't have to crawl everywhere. I'm REALLY thankful for wood floors at this point - and for a husband who has the brain enough to come up with these knee appreciating ideas! Yesterday, I was finally able to put some pressure on the ball of my foot and limp around a little bit. Today, I am happy to report that I haven't used my make-shift wheel chair at all. I can cautiously bear weight on my entire foot. Whoo hoo! I think we may even venture out for a bit.
It was a really emotional time, silly as that may sound. But especially on Thursday when the only mode of transportation I had was by my "wheel chair" - I was really bummin'. I had to rely on my kid for just about everything. Me - the one who is SUPPOSED to be the care taker. Instead, my eight year old was taking care of me. I got tired of saying, "Isaac, can you give Layla some food and water? Isaac, can you let the dog out? Isaac, can you bring me a bottle of water?....." Of course, I had my pity party. Kissed my wounds. Cried. Pouted. Cried some more. You know...real mature stuff. Not a shining moment for me.
Then...God rang my bell. Instead of wallering in my misery, I should probably try to find a bright spot - something to be thankful for. Then I started thinking about all of the people out there who have actually lost an arm or leg or something that completely alters their life forever. My injury was just temporary and it completely threw me out of sorts. So, I began to thank God for two hands, two feet, two eyes, two ears... I thanked him that he never ceases to bless me. I thanked him for being my healer. And I started to get better.
I have seen where studies have been done on the power of gratitude in our lives and how it not only affects our mental state, but our physical state as well. I'm a believer. I think that when we begin to quit focusing on the problem and thanking the one who is the solution - then we position ourselves for God to work. I don't have all of the answers or theology to how this works. I don't really think that I need it. I don't really care how throwing a switch causes a light to come on. I just need to know that when I throw it, it will. I really don't even care to know how it works. I'm just thankful that it does. And today, I'm thankful that my God is a faithful God, even when I throw my temper tantrums and act really mature. And today, I'm thankful that I can cautiously bear weight on my entire foot. I have faith that tomorrow will be even better. There is a silver lining in every cloud.