Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Another Spider Story

Once upon a time my husband, Chris, and I moved to central Florida to be youth pastors. One of our youth had been in a terrible jet ski incident which left him immobile and in traction for quite some time. He was sent home from the hospital with a hospital bed and traction contraption (say that 10 times). When we went to his house to visit him we had to wait in the kitchen for a few minutes before we could go in and see him.

We hadn't been in Florida for very long at this point and was admiring the wall decorations and contemplating how people decorate so differently in the Sunshine State than they do in the north. It was very common where we came from to have Home Interior pictures hung with sconces and plaques of birds or butterflies. Chris was intrigued by the fact that Crackers also hang plaques of spiders with their pictures, too. I say this because, right in the middle of the pictures was hanging a spider plaque at least the size of your fist. Two legs facing the head. Two legs facing the rear. So life like. Interesting. So interesting that Chris decides to reach out and touch it...

It wasn't a plaque. It was a real, live, mutant, monster of a spider! What the heck do they feed these things down here?! It's so big you could ride it! They don't grow spiders that big in the Midwest. These were all thoughts that instantaneously ran through our skull caps.

As Spidey scurries on up the wall 'cause he don't really like bein' manhandled - my big, strappin', 6'1", muscular, hunk of husband turns into a 5 year old little girl. He's screaming and jumping around these people's kitchen while jerking not too unlike an epileptic fit. It was really a moment to make a woman proud. Oh, yeah, that's my husband. I was just glad I wasn't the Yankee who decided to pet the puppy. OK, it wasn't a puppy. It was a spider, but puppy sounded better. Don't ya think?

Anyway. That was one more of our many adventures with creepy, crawly things in the good old Sunshine State. They grow critters down there that are larger than most household pets in Hoosier Land. Let's just say that was a lesson for us both that was well learned.


  1. LOL! SO funny!!! OH SO FUNNY. Yeah, I grew up with said spiders. Bigger than a hand spread out. I can remember being terrified of them and my Granny always trying to stand in front of the wall and hide them because she knew I would scream and scream if I saw them.

  2. I have never liked these things in florida not to mention what they eat Roaches.


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