Friday, January 29, 2010

It's Just Not The Same Between Us...

I have a confession to make.  As I crawled into my bed to lay next to my wonderful husband in the wee hours of the night, I had a thought of unfaithfulness.  But,'s not what you think.  My thought wasn't about being unfaithful to my man.  It was about cheating on my bed.  You see we have a history...

When I was about 12 or 13 years old I begged and pleaded for a waterbed.  I loved my super-single, full-motion waterbed.  Oh, how, I loved it with all the love you could give a bed.  But, for some moment of insanity later in my teenage years, I allowed my parents to talk me into switching to a regular twin bed.  I don't even remember the particulars about why it would be best.  All I know is that I missed my waterbed.  Then, during my second year of college when I met my sweetheart and we married - fate stepped in.

When my man was 12 years old he took a paper route so he could save money to guessed it! A full-motion waterbed!  Our love was destiny, the sheer hand of God - for I had met a mate who would love to sleep in the comfort of the waves with me...(sigh)...  Naturally, when we got married and bought our bed we went for a king sized, full-motion waterbed.  We're old school, baby!  None of that waterbed disguised as a real bed crap for us.  Go full-motion or stay home!  Sorry.

We've been married nearly 15 years now.  That bed has served us well.  It has moved 6 times with us.  It's always warm and cozy when we crawl into it at night.  A gentle flick of my foot and it rocks me to sleep.  Mmmm...  But lately... well, let's pretend it were a person.  Here's what I would say.

Dear Waterbed,

I know we have a great history together.  We've had some good times, too.  I love how you've always been there for me, comforting me when I was sick, warming me when I was cold, rocking me gently to sleep every night.  But, lately, things just aren't the same.  I don't feel that you support me like you used to.  This is hard because, well, support is a big part of our relationship. 

I have a confession to make to you.  I've been having thoughts about other beds.  Like tonight, when I went to get back into your warmth after a brief trip to the lavoratory.  I had that old familiar feeling in my lower back.  It wasn't a good one, either.  My mind immediately went to Amanda's (my sister) new Tempurpedic.  I've been fantasizing about those beds a lot for about a year or more now.  They promise no pressure points - that would be good since you don't seem to keep my hands from going numb at night.  They claim perfect support - I've already told you my beef about that.

It's not you.  It's me.  I've changed.  I'm not the same woman that I was 15 years ago.  You've been a good and faithful bed.  But, I think I need more than you can offer me now.  I just wonder if I could ever love another bed as much as I've loved you.  Could Chris ever love another?  These are some of the things that we need to work out.  But, no matter what happens in the future always know that I really, truly loved you - and a part of me always will.



  1. I must say that we LOVE our select comfort bed... and it never makes my hands go numb!

  2. BWAHAHAHAHA!! That was awesome, Pam. The letter was hilarious!

    I would say that a 15 year old bed has done it's duty well. Shop around and actually LIE DOWN on the beds in the stores before making your choice, though. There are all kinds of things to consider...especially when you spend roughly a third of your life in bed. It's worth getting the one that is most comfortable and supportive.

  3. Funny stuff!

    I know beds don't have hearts, but if they did, you would be breaking this ones gently. :)

    Good luck moving on to a better relationship. Just remember the grass is not always greener on the other side. ;) lol

  4. You are so stinkin' funny!


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