A Story of Razors - I Need Your Help

OK, ladies. I need some help here. And if you're thinking, "Yeah, so what's new?" then I say to you, "Just shut up already! Mkay?" Now that we have that out of the way...I'm looking for a new, great razor and I need some recommendations.

I currently use Schick Intuition. I like it pretty well. Actually, I love the fact that I don't have to use shave gel because it already surrounds the razor. That makes it much faster and less messy to get smooth, lovely, model type legs. What? You don't believe that I have the legs of the model? Man, you're being rough on a girl today. Moving on...What I don't like is the fact that I can only get about 4 shavings out of it before there's no soapy bar stuff left around the razor.

So, a couple of weeks ago while shopping for a new razor with my dear MIL this all became an issue. She showed me the one that she adores. I think it was a Venus Breeze, or something like that. She said that she got about 5 million uses out of one razor and that she didn't need to use shave gel with it. However, when she showed me the one that she uses, it had a small thing of shave gel in the pack with it. This speaks to me that it is intended to be used with said shave gel. But she also said that my nieces use it with no shave gel either. I, however am slightly hesitant to venture into shave gel-less territory using a razor that is intended to use it. Here is the reason why.

Once upon a time there was a lazy busy mother. She needed all the help she could get in regards to speeding along personal hygiene. One day she heard Lisa Rinna a soap star, who shall remain nameless talking about the fastest way to shave. She was really a wicked witch forming a diabolical shaving plan. She called it 'dry shaving'. This soap star, who shall remain nameless (cough...Lisa Rinna) that was really the evil witch said that if you slather your legs in baby oil you can dry shave with your razor. It was supposed to be magical. This sounded like a wonderful time saving plan to me, I mean the lazy busy mother. So she tried it. She got into the shower, slathered on some magical baby oil and began to shave away all of the nasty little troll hairs that had invaded Leg Land. But, something didn't feel right. "Hmmm," thought the lazy busy mother, "this feels like it's skipping. It's not shaving smoothly like I think it's supposed to be." So, when she got to her second leg she decided to do it differently. She wet her leg down with water first before slathering on the magical baby oil. Aaaaaah...much better! It worked beautifully! But, alas, it was too late for the other side of Leg Land. The damage had already been done. The lazy busy mother had received the worst cast of razor burn in the history of all razor burns. She was burned from her ankle to above her knee. Oh, how it hurt. It hurt with a pain that she remembers to this day. What was she to do? She covered her leg in a coating of soothing petroleum jelly in hopes that it would ease her torture. But that wasn't enough. So, she wrapped her entire leg in an ace bandage. That helped a little bit. She had to leave her leg wrapped up like that for days. Even after she was able to remove the bandage, her leg was still red. It itched very badly for a really long time. She thinks it took off the top layers of her epidermis, too, because the hair on that leg grew much faster than the hair on the other leg after that. The itching, discomfort and fast-growing hair went on and on for 10 long, uncomfortable months. Then one day the lazy busy mother found the truly magical ointment called Olive Oil. She began to apply it to her legs every day and something wonderful began to happen. The Olive Oil began to heal that poor, troubled leg. Before very long, it was back to normal. But the lazy busy mother is still slightly emotionally scarred from the whole incident. She is now very leery of any shaving that claims to be done without shave gel. The End.

I relayed this story to my dear MIL, and she said to me, "You know that something like that would only happen to you, don't you?" Yes. Yes I do. But, c'mon, is it me or does the term 'dry shaving' seem to imply; no water necessary?

So, do you dear ladies now see why I could use your recommendations for a shaving tool? I'm not trying to isolate you gentleman, but I don't know many gentleman who actually shave their legs on a regular basis - except for the weirdos who used to shop at Meijers in Columbus, OH in the middle of the night. If you happen to be one of them and have a fabulous shaving tip for me, then, by all means, leave me a comment. And please, do share where you got those fabulous leopard print spandex capri pants and that hot pink feathered boa! Otherwise, ladies, if you have any tips for me - I'm all ears!

Thanks for listening!