Thursday, July 2, 2009

A Tale Of Cheese

It's been nine years now since I became totally and completely averted to all things cottage cheese.

Not this kind. Although, I am rather averted to this as well. I feel a song comin' on...If you want my body - and you think I'm sexy - come on sugar - let me know... Ok. Enough of that.

This is the kind of cheese that spawned my total aversion.

Would you like to know the reason behind my aversion? Yes? Feel free to keep reading. No? Feel free to exit this blog post. Just know that I'll miss you...

Nine years ago we had a dog.

This dog. Her name was Judah. She was going to be named Harley, as in the motorcycle, because my hubby loves them so. But we also had another dog when we got her.

This dog. Her name was Holly because my hubby bought her for me as a Christmas present one year. Well, every time we called for Harley, Holly got confused and she came running. It just wasn't fair to mess with her little doggy head that way. So, Harley became Judah. But, I digress...

Judah looks very similar to this dog, doesn't she?

This is Layla - my current lass and the best dog in the whole world. I'm not being prejudice here. I'm just stating the facts, Mam. Anyway, Judah began this family's love affair with the perfect breed for our brood - the Doberman. Hence, the similarity.

Judah had some issues, though. She used to get puppy pimples on her chin when she was just a young thang. I didn't know puppies could actually get pimples until we had her. She also used to get little spots where her fur would come out. I don't know if it was due to the Florida heat or an internal glitch, but, evidently she needed more protein in her diet.

This is where the cheese comes in. The vet instructed us to add cottage cheese to her regular food at meal times. It worked beautifully and cured a world of ails. Then I got pregnant.

Up until then, cottage cheese made little impact on my life. I could take it or leave it. Pregnancy has a way of screwing with every aspect of your being, though, as I'm sure every woman who has ever birthed a young'n is well aware. But, we won't talk about how I can't even swing without wanting to throw up, or see blood, or hear about Kathleen's razor stories :0), or wipe boogers off little people's noses, or any of those things that used to not bother me - but makes my stomach do acrobatics now that it has carried a child. No, we won't talk about those things today. We'll talk about cheese instead.

I had been sloppin' the white, lumpy, soupy stuff which somehow managed to go by the name of cheese on that dog's dish for a long time and never thought a thing about it. But, once pregnancy came a callin', I thought it was "icky". One day - one lone, fateful day - "icky" became a massive understatement. As I opened the container of cottage cheese I found myself turning my head away. When I tried to spoon it into Judah's dog bowl - I found my stomach churning. I couldn't do it. I couldn't feed cottage cheese that dog. I was too busy - heaving and gagging and running to the bathroom and all. I just couldn't give my pooch the protein she so desperately needed in cheese form on that day, or any day after, for that matter. I had to switch to putting eggs on her food instead. I know that raw eggs is supposed to be a big faux pas and all. Blah, blah, blah...Whatever. It still got the job done and she never contracted salmonella poisoning. So, let's just get over it and move on already. Mkay? We good? Moving on then...

For nine years now the very sight of cottage cheese has caused a reaction in me where my nose curls up, my mouth sucks itself back toward my ear lobes and my eyes roll back into their sockets. I can't help it. It's involuntary. Something has changed recently, though.

A couple of weeks ago, my blog friend Kathleen, was featuring a table scape she had done for breakfast and this salad that she had been eating. It was a breakfast salad with fruit and a side of cottage cheese for protein. The salad really piqued my interest. I could definitely stand to get some more fruit in my diet and this looked like an interesting way to accomplish that. But, then I got thinking about how I need protein in the mornings, too. I decided to try this meal for breakfast, cottage cheese and all. I figured that the worst thing that could happen would be my nose curling up, my mouth sucking itself back toward my ear lobes and my eyes rolling back into their sockets. That, and me having to scrape the white stuff off my plate 'cause I was too grossed out to eat it. I could completely recover from that, right? So, I fixed my plate up, real purty like. I scooped out some cheese of the cottage variety on the side. Added a little salt and pepper to it and sat down with my plate. I ate the first bite with my nose curled up, but my eyes didn't roll back into their sockets. Hmmm...I think I can stomach this. Ok. This isn't too bad. I can do this.

Let me tell you, that breakfast salad is sooo good that I have eaten it almost every day. And the cottage cheese? I'm totally lovin' it now! So much so that one day last week, me and Little Britches met MW for lunch and I ate it right off the salad bar. Well, I did put it on my plate and go back to my seat first. I'm still in shock from this whole ordeal. I mean, how can one go from heaving and gagging on the way to the loo from the mere sight of something to completely craving it every day? Go figure. Pregnancy. Nine years later and it's still messing with me.

So, that's my tale of cheese. What do you think about cottage cheese? Love it? Hate it? Or are you indifferent to the stuff?

Have a great day!


  1. LOL!!!
    I am so glad my intensive cottage cheese therapy worked for you! (that will be $250 please!)
    The secret is....the pretty plate and the yummie salad...they distract you from the cottage cheese!
    What else can I help you with my dear?!

  2. One of my grossest (gag inducing) memories of cottage cheese was visiting an old woman friend of my grandmas in a nursing home, and we went at lunch and she had a curd of cottage cheese stuck to her upper lip just trembling as she spoke. (gweeg...ack!) That did it for me for years.

    However, I remember my grandma always enjoying cottage cheese with her salads and with fruit. Canned pears or peaches and pineapple tidbits are fond memories. But even worse, and I believe I may have crossed the line (you know, that infamous line) was that a few months back, I went to a salad bar at a buffet in our town, and I got cottage cheese and beets with my salad...and I ate them TOGETHER and loved them, lol. I am truly my grandmother's daughter, lol.

    In actuality, I really enjoy cottage cheese these days. In fact, I'm making a dip out of it for my son's birthday party, as it goes great with buffalo chicken wings (or bites) and celery and carrot sticks. Blue cheese crumbles pureed with cottage cheese to desired consistency. Cools off the flaming hot wings he requested as appetizer. Mmmmmm.

  3. I LOVE our doggies!!!! And I love you too!! ;)


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