WHAT?! JoAnn Fabrics is closing?! All of them? Or, just mine? Oh, it doesn't matter - either is a tragedy! Please, say it ain't so! These are all of the questions that began to bombard my gray matter. I became woosy and the room started to spin. I needed a paper sack for breathing purposes. I had to sit down with my head between my legs. Not really, but play along will ya? I don't think that I could even get my head between my legs. That would probably make me pass out fo' sho'. But, I was confused and upset for real.
You see, I've wanted to learn to sew for a REALLY long time. I FINALLY have begun to take classes and move in the direction of "Domestic Diva" and JoAnn and I have become tight. Really tight. If she left me - Oh, Lord. I don't even want to think about it. I would only have Hobby Lobby left. Don't get me wrong - I love Hobby Lobby. But...they don't have quite the fabric selection that JoAnn has. And they don't have Coupon Commotion, either. I was once able to use 5 (40%-50% off) coupons at JoAnn's at once during Coupon Commotion Week. That was a huge savings. So, to receive this flyer in the mail; not good. I live exactly in the center of nowhere. I have no Hancock Fabrics. Walmart quit carrying fabric. All I have left is Hobby Lobby. Also, the place where Grandma Ginger gives me sewing lessons. But, they are a quilt shop. They don't carry burlap. They don't carry home decorator fabrics. They don't even carry clothing weight fabric. They simply carry a ga-freakin'-billion bolts of quilting material. It's a quilter's dream. I am not a quilter.
Am I just naive? I would have thought that in this economy more people would start crafting/sewing again. The place that I take lessons from told me that they have had an influx of people wanting to take classes every since things have become so economically unstable. I thought that of all the businesses that would be immune and possibly benefit from a recession - grocery stores and fabric/craft/DIY stores would be at the top of the list. But then I get this flyer.
In my flustered state, I did what anyone in search of answers would do. I googled. That only confused me more. I couldn't find anything concrete. I HAD to get to the bottom of this. I put on my detective cap, found the store locator, pulled up the phone number for my local JoAnn Fabric and dialed the number.
Store Guy: "Thank you for calling JoAnn Fabric. This is _____. How may I help you today?"
Panicky Patron (me): "Hi, yeah. Are you closing?"
Store Guy: "No. We'll be open until 9 o'clock tonight."
Me: "I mean - are you closing your store down? Is your store going out of business?"
Store Guy: "No. We are NEVER closing. And I wish I knew who was starting this crazy rumor."
Me: "Well, I got a flyer in the mail today." And then I proceed to read it to him.
Store Guy: "That may be for the _____ store. They are closing down. But they are building a bigger one across the street and will have a Grand Opening for it soon. But, WE are never closing. Not unless they decide to do the same thing here and build a bigger one."
Me: "Thank God! I sure wish they would have clarified that on the flyer, though."
Obviously, I wasn't the only one who misinterpreted that non-specific flyer that the company sent out, because Store Guy wanted to know who was spreading that crazy rumor. Try looking into your marketing department, Sir! Needless to say, I was a happy camper when I got off of the phone - almost euphoric. Me and JoAnn are gonna be tight for a long, long time.