Wednesday, September 16, 2009

"He Said I Have Dog Jaw."

I love this time of year. The bright sunshine. The humidity free days. The chilly 'I want to snuggle with you under a blanket.' nights. The turning of the leaves. The smell. Autumn has a unique smell. Part of it has to do with the bonfires. But it's more than that. Maybe the rotting leaves? That might be the only rotting smell I actually enjoy. Whatever the 'smell' it is - I like it.

Fall always seems to be sprinkled with a little mischief, too. Maybe because it's the season of Halloween. Maybe it's because I'm my father's daughter. Dad is a real prankster. He has this old, ugly mask that he always put on at Halloween and then he would hide in the bushes waiting for Trick-or-Treaters so he could jump out and scare the bejeepers of them. I don't know how he ever managed to keep from getting decked at some point. Oh, the stories I could tell on my dad. But, they will have to wait. I want to to talk about me today! Well, me and my man, actually. It's my blog so I can do that, right?

Back when me and my man were dating we loved to take drives and look at the leaves. We were living in a suburb of Columbus at the time. One of our favorite spots was this little village called Granville. It is a hilly, quaint, New England style town that absolutely oozes with charm. We would head over there and drive around beautiful Denison University and past the hotel that was reported to be haunted. We would admire the leaves and bask in our little 2 person 'I'm So Crazy In Love With You I Could Just Pee My Pants Festival'. It was pretty near heaven on earth.

One night while we were on one of these semi-regular Fall Love Fests, romance was really in the air. It was electric. As Mr. Wonderful drove us around those hills whose trees looked like they had been lit with fire, he ever so gently caressed the back of my head, my neck, my cheek with his free right hand. I basked in the warmth of his feelings for me. It was almost magical. Then something came over me.

I told him how my jaw had been bothering me. I told him that it had a knot in it and that I had seen the doctor about it.

"What did the doctor say?"

"He said I have something called Dog Jaw. Here, you want to feel?"

At that point he reached his hand out to feel the invasive lump on the side of my face. That's when I snapped my face toward his hand, growled and acted like I was going to bite him.

I think he nearly messed himself. He said I totally ruined the romantic mood. Whaaaa? He didn't find that a turn on? We had a good laugh out of it, though. Well, at least I did, anyway. I haven't tried that anymore since that almost perfectly romantic night 15 years ago. But he's still leery of my wacky sense of humor. I can't image why.

So, what have we learned today? I love Fall. I love my man. I am my father's daughter. And, lastly, but most importantly; if someone tells you they have Dog Jaw - for the sake of your clean underwear, don't believe them.


  1. May I copy you? I feel a case of Dog Jaw coming on... my husband could use a little shakin' up!

  2. I think you really ARE my long lost sister...our family has been pulling that joke on unsuspecting folks for decades, lol.


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